Halloween Horror

This is a story I just had to share. It’s a bit inappropriate but laugh out loud funny. At least once a month I end up turning to Jason and saying ‘only me, only me’.  That’s because strange, funny, and crazy things only happen to me. The story below is one of those times. Let me take you back to Halloween day 2008…..

Halloween landed on a Friday last year and I had the day off. I decided to swing by my bf Heather’s house to see what the triplets would be wearing this year.  Her and her husband dressed up as characters from the Wizard of Oz and the boys were each peas (3 peas in a pod). Sooo cute.

I spent a couple hours with them and headed back home in time to wait for Jason to get back from work and get ready for dinner. I was breaking out my outfit for the evening when the doorbell rang. Trick or Treat! My first, and only, trick or treaters of the day. I opened the door, candy in hand, and found 2 young boys and a mom standing at my door. The boys screamed trick or treat and the mother said happy holidays. My first reaction was- happy holidays- what?. But then I had a look at the boys- they weren’t dressed up in costumes, they were in street clothes, and they both were using drying bins as their Halloween bags. You know the bins you use to put clean dishes in?

So, from the start I knew this was going to be an ‘only me, only me’ moment. I had a variety of different chocolates and asked the boys which one they wanted. They each picked 2 and just as I was about to say goodbye, the boy turned to his mother and then back to me and asked ‘can I use your bathroom?’.  Hmmm. I was by myself at the time but I thought it’s still daytime and these boys look harmless. The boy was around 12 years old and looked like he was going to burst if he didn’t go to the bathroom soon. Since I live in a 1 bedroom on the first floor I could easily just keep the apartment door open and the front door open as I spoke to the mother while he went to the bathroom. I don’t know, I really don’t know what I was thinking, but I did know this poor boy ate too much chocolate and needed to use my bathroom stat!

Ok, sure. I led the boy to my bathroom as the mother and the other child waited outside my door.  First thing I thought was these kids need real Halloween bags so I reached into my eco/green bag pile and pulled out 2 red bags and gave them to the mother. She thanked me right away and as I started to chat with her about why the bags were more suitable for treating than the dishwasher bins it soon became clear to me that she really didn’t understand English and she hardly spoke it. For about 5 minutes we uncomfortably smiled at each other as I tried to ask her questions about the day…’A lot of kids out today?’ ‘Is it supposed to rain tonight?’, etc. She didn’t respond at all but kept saying ‘happy holiday’.

Five minutes go by, TEN minutes go by and the boy is still in the bathroom. Now, I’m thinking what if this is all a set up and he’s in my bathroom stealing things. Then again, what the heck could he be stealing from my bathroom ‘Look ma, got 2 shampoo bottles and a bottle of facial wash, Score!’. Then I thought what if he snuck out of the bathroom and is rifling through my pocketbook. So I quickly ran back into my apartment and found the young boy was still in the bathroom. Phew. I headed back to the front door and the mom smiled at me and said ‘sorry’. No worries I said, these things happen (I guess).

FINALLY the boy comes out of my apartment, says thank you, sees the red bag I gave him, and smiles. I closed the door and got back into my apartment. Immediately I went back into my bedroom and started to get my outfit ready when it hit me. Not a thought, or an action, or a person…I was getting punched in the face with a smell. A smell so bad I was choking. I would imagine this is what pepper spray feels like. I headed out into the living room where the smell got much worse. Did someone dump a pile of garbage outside my window? Just then my phone rang, it was my brother. I started to tell him about the stench and realized- The bathroom! Oh no. I was gagging on the phone to him, and of course, he’s laughing hysterically. It was a terrorist attack on my bathroom.  He urged me to go into the bathroom and see what happened.  I built up the courage and just as I was about to go in Jason called. I answered and quickly told him what happened and told him ‘I cannot clean this up, whatever it is. I can’t do it.’ You can imagine his answer ‘no wayyyyy Mel, I’m not getting stuck with this’. UGGGH. So, after much hemming and hawing I opened the door, bleach spray and Lysol bottle in hand, and just started spraying everything. I quickly opened the window and ran out. It was bad, really bad.

Jay got home 30 minutes later, which by that point the smell was nearly under control, and cleaned the bathroom. He didn’t see what the big deal was since by the time he got home the smell had died down. This year we will be visiting friends so we won’t be able to hand out candy but we will reminisce about that fateful day 1 year ago.  Only me, only me.